


Where Dreams My Lead

by RCs Many Posts (Parker4131970)



Category: due South
Genre: Dreams, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:59:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29075967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Parker4131970/pseuds/RCs%20Many%20Posts
Summary: Meg dreams of Constable Fraser. Short read.
Relationships: Benton Fraser/Margaret Thatcher
Comments: 10
Kudos: 7





	Where Dreams My Lead

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”  
~ Eleanor Roosevelt

****  
Meg woke one eye at a time. She turned off the alarm by muscle memory. The warmth she felt in her dream lingered, as did a single image of Fraser holding an infant and singing softly as he looked lovingly into the baby’s face. Meg remembered one phrase from the song, an Inuit lullaby. Meg sighed and then threw off the covers. It was time to put away the dream and start reality.  
****  
The Consulate …  
Cold November rain chilled Meg to the bone as she walked past Constable Fraser who stood sentry duty. The eaves of the building barely shielded him from the soaking downpour as he stared straight ahead, his face impassive. Meg paused as her mind flashed back to the last image from her dream. With the image came the warm feelings she’d experienced before her alarm had so rudely pulled her away. The love in Fraser’s eyes and voice as he held the baby against his chest, singing as he swayed gently made her heart ache wanting to see it again. Now he looked so different, yet the same.  
Meg sighed softly before going inside. She began humming the tune of the lullaby, that one phrase running through her mind. She couldn’t remember when she’d heard it outside of the dream. Meg lost count of the times she’d had the dream. It never seemed to change. She never remembered more of the lullaby than that one phrase. It drove her crazy. When no one was around she hummed the lilting strains meant to calm little ones. She hummed it as she tidied up her office, as she grocery shopped, even doing paperwork.  
****  
December …  
Late one night in December Meg found herself working late on quarterly reports. Constable Fraser had been especially heroic of late, generating reams of paperwork. As she worked she hummed the lullaby, unaware of her volume. Once in a while Meg even sang the few Inuit words she could remember. Between the lullaby and wrestling with the various reports she referred to in order to write the quarterly report, she didn’t hear Constable Fraser and his wolf-dog enter the consulate. She’d left her office door open for that express purpose.  
***  
“Ray was well within his rights to complain. You ate his dinner as well as you own.” Ben shook his head as Diefenbaker turned away and trotted haughtily through the foyer.  
“You pay and you pay,” Ben muttered, shaking his head. The sound of a familiar voice brought him to a standstill in the middle of the foyer. The tune was one he knew well, the words too, though they weren’t English or French.  
As if on command, he joined in the song, supplying lyrics when the Inspector’s voice faltered. His steps had taken him unerringly to her office door. The last notes of the lullaby melted away as he locked eyes with her.  
“Constable Fraser, what … “ she sputtered as she rose to her feet, the quarterly report forgotten.  
“I wasn’t aware you were an aficionado of Inuit music, Inspector,” Ben spoke as she gathered her wits.  
“No. I’m not particularly knowledgeable about them. That song has been stuck in my head for weeks. You surprised me.”  
Ben noticed the Inspector surreptitiously slide her prescription reading glasses into a drawer. Her vanity amused him but ever the gentleman, he didn’t let on.  
“My apologies, Inspector. I was drawn to your wonderful voice.” Ben watched her carefully, leery of her mercurial moods. The Inspector hadn’t reacted the best to compliments in the past.  
“Thank you kindly.” Meg looked around the dim office as silence stretched between them.  
“My mother sang that lullaby to me before she died.” Ben’s voice faltered at the end. He felt the Inspector’s gaze on him.  
Why did I tell her that, he wondered silently. It only served to increase the awkwardness between them.  
“That’s a nice memory,” the Inspector spoke softly. Ben only nodded.  
After a long moment Ben spoke. “Good evening, Inspector Thatcher.” He turned to leave.  
“What are the lyrics to the song?” Meg rushed to say before he could melt away.  
Ben hadn’t expected to hear her say that. She hadn’t expressed any personal interested in him before.  
“It’s been a long time,” he hedged.  
Meg watched as Fraser ran his tongue over his lower lip, He stepped closer to her desk before picking up the tune from the beginning.  
Berceuse  
Cœur de pirate  
Dream after dream I miss you  
Songe après songe tu me manques  
And the steps do not disappear  
Et les pas ne disparaissent pas  
And day after day I dream  
Et jour après jour je songe  
To run very slowly towards you  
À courir très doucement vers toi  
But you don't know me anymore  
Mais toi tu ne me connais plus  
After this time I really lost you  
Après ce temps je t'ai vraiment perdu  
And one angel by your side  
Et un seul ange à tes côtés  
While I forget your kisses  
Pendant que j'en oublie tes baisers  
And without suffering I laugh  
Et sans souffrir j'en ris  
My regrets stay in her bed  
Mes regrets restent dans son lit  
And without laughing I suffer  
Et sans rire je souffre  
Because he had my last breath.  
Car il a eu mon dernier souffle.  
Wrong after wrong I stall.  
Tort après tort je cale.  
And my tears won't bring you back  
Et mes larmes te ramèneront pas  
And blow after blow that I give  
Et coup après coup que je donne  
He won't let go of me  
Il ne me lâchera pas  
And he doesn't really know me  
Et il ne me connait pas vraiment  
And you, you're not looking right now  
Et toi tu ne cherches pas à l'instant  
Yet I'm looking for why I left you  
Pourtant je cherche pourquoi je t'ai laissé  
That for a while in this evening  
Que pour un temps dans cette soirée  
And without suffering I laugh  
Et sans souffrir j'en ris  
My regrets stay in her bed  
Mes regrets restent dans son lit  
And without laughing I suffer  
Et sans rire je souffre  
Because he had my last breath  
Car il a eu mon dernier souffle  
And without suffering I laugh  
Et sans souffrir j'en ris  
My regrets stay in her bed  
Mes regrets restent dans son lit  
And without laughing I suffer  
Et sans rire je souffre  
Because he had my last breath  
Car il a eu mon dernier souffle  
Meg was caught up in the feelings then just as she’d been every night in her dreams. She closed her eyes and let the images in her mind meld with his voice. Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. Afterall, it was just a dream, right?  
“Inspector?” Fraser’s concerned voice brought her back to time and place. “Are you alright?”  
When she opened her eyes he had rounded the desk and had knelt at her side. He’d pulled out his handkerchief and held it out in offering to her.  
“You sing that lullaby every night in my dreams. You’re holding a baby and in my dream it’s our baby. God, how you look at the baby; so much love.” She shook her head as a sob erupted from her throat. She felt Fraser put his arms around her, drawing her to him. Meg heard him making soothing noises as he patted her back. The scratchy serge against her cheek and the mixture constituting his scent grounded her. How long they sat there neither could say later.  
Eventually, Meg’s tears and sobs quieted. She pulled away, his hanky in her hand.  
“Are you alright?”  
Meg looked up to see his brows drawn and felt his hand lightly on her cheek.  
“I’m fine, just embarrassed.” She shrugged. Meg laid her hand over his still on her cheek. The warmth helped to keep her in the moment.  
“There’s no need for embarrassment.” He leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead.  
“This is inappropriate, my apologies.” Despite her words, Meg didn’t pull her gently.  
“It isn’t inappropriate to have feelings or to be human,” he assured her gently.  
“When have I ever been human?”  
The mirthless laugh made Ben put a finger under her chin to make her look up at him.  
“You have tried to hide for so long, but I see you; the real you.” He wiped an errant tear from her cheek. She briefly wondered how he saw the real Meg when she didn’t even know who that was or where she’d gone. A shuddering sigh escaped her chest as the surge of emotions subsided. She thought to make an excuse, being overly tired or stressed but Fraser’s words and the look on his face forestalled her next sentence.  
“I don’t know how to be me, how to go from where I am to where I want to go.”  
“The dream, that’s what you want for your life?”  
Meg nodded and then turned away. She’d revealed too much of her heart already. Instead, she twisted his hanky in her lap.  
“You’ve applied to an adoption agency.” Actually, Ben had filled out ALL the paperwork. He felt as if he were the one seeking to adopt a child.  
“It could take years. A single, professional woman isn’t a very good candidate, so I’ve been told,” she said ruefully. It didn’t keep the agency from cashing her check.  
I probably wouldn't be a good mother anyway, she lamented silently.  
“I wish I knew how to help you.” Ben ran his thumb over his eyebrow. How else could he help but to do the paperwork with his usual meticulous excellence?  
“Get me pregnant.” The words rolled off her tongue before Meg thought. Her eyes snapped to Fraser’s face. As she looked on, his color drained, leaving him snow white. His blue eyes widened as he slowly drew away from her.  
“I spoke out of turn. I… I’m sorry.” Meg could have kicked herself. One little slip and she’d ruined a warm, wonderful moment between them. She sighed heavily and leaned back in her desk chair.  
Me and my big mouth, she cursed inwardly.  
“Perhaps someone else of your acquaintance could be more,” He paused as he searched for a word. “Be more obliging,” he finished.  
“Perhaps,” Meg agreed noncommittally. She took a deep breath to steady herself. The damage had been done, there was no need to prolong the miserable awkwardness between them now.  
“It’s late, Constable.” Her voice rushed out in a coarse whisper, her throat irritated from crying. “I’m going home.” She stood up as he remained kneeling by her chair.  
“Home.” Fraser repeated to himself. His color had returned to normal but he seemed at a loss, perhaps till in shock, Meg thought.  
Disheartened, Meg began gathering leftover paperwork, her glasses and purse. Fraser still hadn’t moved by the time she’d retrieved her overcoat.  
“Constable Fraser, are you alright?”  
He looked up at her, an expression on his face she’d never seen on anyone’s face before. Sadness, longing and confusion marred his handsome features.  
“You want a child so badly you would allow a loveless relationship?” His voice cracked, breaking Meg’s heart. She returned to her desk chair, facing him. Gently, Meg laid her hand on his shoulder, the one she’d just cried on.  
“I can’t wait for love much longer. Maybe if I were easier to love I could but then would I be someone worth loving? Would it be the real me?’  
“Give me a chance? You know I see the real you, that our hearts beat the same.” Fraser took her hand in both of his as he spoke from the heart. His gaze never wavered from hers, a sure sign of the earnesty of his words and emotions.  
“What if we end up hurting one another?” Meg spoke softly, almost as if she were talking to herself.  
“And what if we end up healing one another?” he counted.  
“Can we take it slowly?”  
Ben nodded, unable to speak for the lump in his throat.  
Meg pulled Ben to his feet and slid her arms around his torso. It felt like coming home, something she hadn’t felt very often and never in Chicago. Ben laid his cheek against her temple as he held her close.  
“We have as long as it takes.” He pressed a kiss to her hair. “As long as it takes.”  
****  
Eighteen Months Later …  
Meg smiled to herself as she watched Ben sway gently near the window. She smiled even bigger when she heard his voice.  
The dream, it’s coming true.  
Happy tears streamed down her face. Ben turned, their newborn daughter nestled against his chest as he sang softly. Baby Alice looked up into his face and blinked slowly before one corner of her mouth pulled upward.  
“Meg, are you alright?” he asked when he saw her tears.  
“Everything is perfect.” She wiped tears as Ben sat on the side of the bed with her. “My dream came true. ALL my dreams came true.”  
“Mine too,” Ben agreed. From under the hospital bed came a soft ‘woof’ from Diefenbaker. Meg and Ben both chuckled as Alice looked around for the source of the sounds.  
THE END.


End file.
